Give Me a Holler If You Know What Planet Brad Lohaus Is On Now

If anybody knows what planet Brad Lohaus is on these days, please call [515-225-3047] or e-mail [malyr@juno.com] me.

Sometimes I think about the good old days.

I wonder what kind of pill bottle the big guy got into in the years after TV announcer Don Criqui said, “Lohaus has white man’s disease” on the air during an Iowa basketball game.

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Memo to Corey Patterson:

The Cubs swung a trade with, of all the teams, Cleveland, for, of all players, a journeyman outfielder.

The new guy’s name is Jody Gerut. Not exactly someone mentioned in the same breath with Derrek Lee and Albert Pujols.

The thing is, Corey, Gerut is with the Cubs. You’re in Des Moines.

His salary is $356,200. Yours is $2.8 million.

Enjoy those $5.75 beers at No-Name Ballpark [Sorry About That, Sec].

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Hey, I was glad to be able to help out the local paper on yet another story—this one about Drake football.

You may recall that I wrote a column last month, saying that the Bulldogs probably wouldn’t be able to play any of their 2005 “home” games at Drake Stadium because it’s being renovated.

I told about how Drake historian Paul Morrison informed me that plans were being made for three games to be played at Valley Stadium in West Des Moines and one at the Waukee High School stadium.

It was good to see that the folks at the local paper always read what I write—as they’re probably told to do by their bosses. They scrambled around for a few days and finally got a story on the Drake football situation in print.

Oh, well, at least they didn’t try to fool their editors and everyone else by calling what they produced “Breaking News” like they did when I beat ‘em on the Fred Hoiberg story. That was pretty high schoolish stuff.

Before I get off the subject, I should point out to the guys at 8th and Locust that they probably shouldn’t overlook those Rudy Washington, Lewis Lloyd and Veda Ponikvar columns I have on the web page now.

They’re damn good ones, too, about people and happenings they should have in the paper.

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Speaking of $5.75 beers, which I did a few lines back, what’s the deal about that guy in the local paper bitching about $5 and $6 beers at the local arena?

What concession stand has he been hanging around?

This ain’t the Little League park in Lake Mills, coach.

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Speaking again about the local arena, they’re really packing ‘em in there, aren’t they?

Eighty-five hundred for some lousy music in a 17,000-seat joint.

They won’t be getting my money.

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How many times has Jennifer Dukes Lee retired from the local paper? I’ve lost count.

All I know is that she looked pretty happy in that family picture they ran Sunday.

Everybody looks happy, I guess, when they get out of the newsroom and in the field.

The newsroom tends to do that to people.

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With or without Dukes Lee or Lee Dukes, take my word for it—the local paper will be all right.

As long as Dawn Sagario is writing, they’ve got the waterfront covered.

I can’t wait for her next “Workbytes" column.

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More good stuff in the paper by Jerry Perkins, too.

Count on ol’ Perk to keep cranking it out big-time with the hogs and sheep starting their countdown to the State Fair.

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When I’d go shopping for a refrigerator or a washer, I always felt good when the salesman showed me a Maytag.

You know, that stuff about Newton and all the hard-nosed Iowans who work there.

It’s a hell of a note to hear now that the Chinese might buy the place.

I just know they’ll probably move the factory to Mexico.

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I’ve gotten some nice e-mails from Gordy Scoles, the former Iowan who now lives in South Carolina.

Scoles has authored the book, “Best in the Land--The First-Half Century of Nashua High School Football.”

I wrote about the book a while back.

“Thanks again for the article about my book because Jim Sullivan of the Waterloo/Cedar Falls Courier got hold of me and did a 30-minute interview over the phone,” Scoles told me. “He said he read your article about the book. My wife ended up hustling 34 books on the trip [back to Iowa], and I had dinner one night with my old coach, Doug Pinkham, and his wife. So we had a great time and hope to go back next summer to push the Greene High School book. Thanks again for your support!”

I’m glad I could help you, Sully and the Waterloo/Cedar Falls paper out, Gordy.

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I’ve got a family reunion coming up in a few days.

I’ll let you know how much fun it was.

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I was watching a TV documentary on Hopalong Cassidy, one of the “good guys” in the old cowboy black-and-white movie film days.

I don’t know if Hopalong—they called him “Hoppy” a lot in those movies--said it or if one of the other gunslingers said it, but I liked this line:

“I’m gonna rip your arm off and beat you to death with it.”

Come to think of it, there are a couple of guys I wouldn’t mind saying that to.

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On his trip to Iowa, Gordy Scoles said he made a stop in Cedar Rapids.

“Our friend is a volunteer at the Brucemore mansion, and gave us a private tour of the place,” Scoles wrote. “We finished the tour at one of the buildings that is used as a gift shop and reception area. That evening, the reception area was being used to host a group of local CEOs, and a part of the itinerary included old movies that Howard Hall had taken during his many adventures.

“One of the clips came from Hall’s visit to the set of ‘Gone With the Wind,’ but the highlight of the film presentation was a short clip that showed Nile Kinnick at a practice in 1940, working with Iowa players when he was a parttime coach and fulltime law student. Sixty-five years later and Kinnick is still the star of the show.”

Scoles’ e-mail was in response to the column I did about another honor received by Kinnick—this time in Omaha. Kinnick, the leader of Iowa’s 1939 Ironmen football team and the Heisman Trophy winner that year, died in 1943.


Vol. 4, No. 360
July 19, 2005