Friday, June 23, 2006

Attorney Al Schallau Applies To Be Iowa's Athletic Director, But the Offices Must Be Moved to California So He Can Still Have a View Of the Ocean

To: Randy Duncan, Ray Jauch, Ron Maly and Barry Crist

Below is my application for the University of Iowa athletic director job. I am now expecting a huge groundswell of support for my candidacy.

Al Schallau

To: Interim President Gary Fethke, University of Iowa

Dear Gary,

My name is AL SCHALLAU. I am an attorney in Los Angeles. Back in 1962 and 1963, I used to sip some brews with you and Lee Boeke, Jim Worrell, and others at Ivan's apartments on Lucas Street in Iowa City. As I remember it, you were Ivan's favorite.

I am writing for two reasons:

1. I want to suggest to you and your 14-member search committee that you seek advice and recommendations from Bump Elliott, who still lives in Iowa City. Bump was not only the greatest athletic director that Iowa has ever had; he was the greatest athletic director that ANY Big Ten university has ever had. I do think you are missing the boat if you do not seek counsel from a man who was a legend as athletic director.

2. I want to offer the name of AL SCHALLAU, Attorney at Law, as a candidate for the Athletic Director job. My conditions for accepting the job are:

(a) SALARY -- take the last salary paid to Bob Bowlsby and multiply it by two, and that will be my starting salary.

(b) LOCATION OF OFFICE -- the Administrative Office of the University of Iowa athletic department will have to be moved to Rancho Palos Verdes, CA. For 24 years, I have lived in an ocean view house in Palos Verdes, and I am not willing to move. I will conduct business every day by e-mail, phone calls, faxes, by regular U. S. mail, and by video teleconferencing. I will operate with a Palos Verdes administrative staff of TWO persons working directly under me. I think a staff of two is plenty.

(c) ADMINISTRATIVE METHOD -- my method of doing business will be to fill all Iowa City positions with very capable, diligent, and trustworthy persons, and then STAY OUT OF THEIR WAY and let them do their jobs to the best of their ability. This is known as the "Bump Elliott Method," and history teaches that it works very well.

(d) SYSTEM OF MANAGEMENT -- the University of Iowa athletic department will be managed with the same system used in the management of the AL SCHALLAU LAW FIRM for the last 35 years. That system is "One Man, One Vote" ---- and I am the one man who has the one vote.

(e) SUBMISSION OF A JOB APPLICATION -- just push "Print" for this e-mail, and that constitutes my written job application.

(f) EDUCATIONAL CREDENTIALS -- B.A., University of Iowa College of Business Administration, 1964 J.D., University of Southern California School of Law, 1968

(g) WORK HISTORY -- 37 years experience as a trial lawyer handling civil litigation.

THE BIG IRONY: I am infinitely more qualified to be an athletic director at a major university than Mike Garrett was when he was named A.D. at USC. Garrett got a B.A. from USC and a law degree from an unaccredited law school. He never did pass the California Bar Exam. And Mike Garrett has become an EXCELLENT athletic director.

(h) INTERVIEW BEFORE THE 14-MEMBER COMMITTEE -- not a chance. I remember a doctrine preached by my marketing management professor at Iowa (the late Dr. James D. Benson). Dr. Benson said, "The only committee I would ever want to serve on would be the 'Committee to Abolish All Comittees'."

I am strong in my belief that the ultimate decision in hiring a new athletic director should properly be vested solely on the shoulders of Interim President Gary Fethke. As for the content of my interview with President Fethke, please push "print" one more time.

THE SUPREME IRONY is that I would make an excellent athletic director. But I don't expect to be offered the job. As an Iowa Hawkeye alum, I do hope that you and your 14-member committee hire an excellent athletic director -- albeit one less qualified than myself.

Best regards,

Al Schallau

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Good luck, Al. Your qualifications certainly sound better than those of some of the other candidates for the job. NOTE: Schallau is pictured on the right, Bump Elliott and a friend on the left].